He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
