i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
