she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I checked into jail on foursquare
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
