I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
