Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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