What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
