I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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