Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
