Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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