Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
