remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
