Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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