I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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