everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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