i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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