She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
