I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
