Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
