I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
