i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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