At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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