I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
someone owes me an orgasm
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
