the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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