seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
