it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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