I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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