what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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