capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
