Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
