Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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