I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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