I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Moan for me like Helen Keller
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I love having hate sex.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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