his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
