dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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