This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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