do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize