she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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