she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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