I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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