So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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