There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
