Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize