So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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