Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
