I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
