I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
