I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
