Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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