I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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