Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
