i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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