alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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