do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
