He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
