im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Canadian or clown?
third nipple confirmed
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.