I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.