U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
