My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
