Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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