Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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