Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize