You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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