were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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