I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
