id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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