my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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